The day I stopped caring about smaller and simpler stuffs was the day I started to care about more important matters such as reading books and sketching.
Letting go was not easy. It will never be so even if I have done it a few times before. Sometimes I think I have to not pay attention of what are happening. They are of less importance anyway. Childish is the correct word if I were to pay attention to those stuffs again. So yeah, forget about it because I won't be able to face the same old conflicts again and again. Lmao.
It has been more than two years we have known each other. Quite a number of things have happened between us since the moment we first met through mIRC. And there are a lot of feelings we have been sharing since then. Getting to know you is a gift and having you as my ever lovely and loving girlfriend is a blessing. Words are not enough to describe how thankful I am to have you by my side in this life. I have never felt loved and appreciated like this before. You are truly a heaven-sent angel. A kind-hearted, loving, caring, understanding and so much more great qualities in you. Your tender loving affection is something I always miss. Lucky me to have you, Sayang. Your beauty is extraordinary, angelic, pure and never tainted with the unnecessaries of this world. Every moment of being with you is a moment I treasure. And being another half of you is like a miracle that keeps recurring again and again eternally. You are truly special in my life. All of my heart, mind, body, and soul hold highly of you in them. Because you are my only Sayang. The one and only. When I thought I could never love again, you came and guided me to the right path. You showed me that love still existed in me and that love was just specially for you and you only. It still is. It is going to be so forever. Sayang, thank you for being with me all of this time. Thank you for enduring my stubbornness. Thank you for choosing me and loving me tenderly and affectionately. There are so many things I would like to mention about you and how thankful I am for having you but words are not able to describe them all. Sayang, I am going to make you mine on one fine day and we won't have to endure the physical distance between us anymore. Pray for me to be able to make it a reality soon. Nurelysha Binti Hassan, saya sayang awak. Selamat Menyambut Hari Ulangtahun Kelahiran yang ke-28, Sayang. Semoga awak dan keluarga tersayang sentiasa berada di dalam lindungan dan rahmat-Nya. Semoga awak gembira sentiasa disamping orang tersayang dan semoga awak berjaya di dunia dan akhirat. Amin.
Kadangkala, eh bukan kadangkala tapi rasa macam setiap masa, hampir setiap ketika aku rasa macam nak puji lebih-lebih sampai melangit, sampai ke angkasa lepas. Sebab apa? Sebab sayang? Sebab suka?
Yes and no.
Tapi more to sebab rasa bersyukur adanya dia.
It feels like I learn how to fall in love. It's like I learn to know what love really is. It's just that. That kind of happiness and joy are making me over the moon. Rasa bersyukur dan gembira tu tak terluah, tak terkata, tak tertulis and semua-semua la tak. Thank you Allah for this. Thanks to you too, Sayang.
Tapi ada satu yang aku tak berapa nak suka. Tapi aku suka jugak actually. Tapi it's not that nice, which is perasaan rindu. Kadang-kadang, it has come to a point aku jadi macam tak boleh tahan that kind of missing feeling. It is..urm..quite painful. It won't last long cuma aku akan jadi macam teruk sikit time tu. Heh.
Kekadang tu bila rindu, and pastu dia text, terus jadi over the moon yang sangat over, jadi nak cakap rindu yang teruk-teruk best, tapi lepas tu terpaksa hold back sebab taknak kelihatan silly. Tapi most of the time biarkan je silliness tu take over. Dah rindu, mana boleh tahan. This LDR thing sangat-sangat menguji sejauh mana aku mampu tahan rindu.
And now, I am waiting for the day I don't have to miss you anymore.
I was at peace. There, alone, nothing much to think, but I was at peace. There was nothing much running through my mind at that time. There was nothing much to miss. Nonetheless, I was looking for something, ugh, to happen. I was looking at a slow pace, unconsciously, not really much giving it a hope to really happen. But I was there, hoping, deeply.
No, I don't know what to say anymore in this small space. All I know is; you complete me.